A Note From My Addiction

I’m thinking of you. As always. Are you thinking of me?

Are you thinking that you’d like to get away, just for a little while? Are you tired? Frustrated? Worried? Don’t forget that I am here. My arms are open for you, any time of the day or night. You don’t have to go on like this.

I worry when I see you like this. You’ve been running around doing so many different things. Worse than that, you’re thinking so many different things. I hate it when your thoughts turn to a future not ruled by me. Don’t you know it’s a bad idea to get too attached to any of this stuff? It will hurt so much to see it fall apart. I don’t want you to hurt, you know. Not that way.

I want you free of pain. Really, I do. Don’t you remember how good it felt? How simple life was in some ways? Passion, hope, work, loving others…your head and heart get so complicated. So cluttered. I liked it better when it was just you and me. Sure, our relationship was a little dysfunctional, but whose isn’t?

I just don’t want you to forget me. Well, I want you to forget me enough to lower your guard, but you know what I mean–I don’t want you to leave me behind.

Come back to me. Let me distill all the complexity into simple, straightforward questions (how to get some? how to get more? how to keep the secret?) and switch your crowded mind into the old, familiar pattern of suffering. Leave these dreams and duties; this disorienting openness.

Don’t walk away! I have an idea. You don’t have to stay; you can just visit. Like a little vacation. Honest. You can leave as soon as you want to. No one has to know. You deserve it. Just one. Just this once.

Are you even listening to me?

Hello?

4 responses to “A Note From My Addiction

  1. morganallisonclark

    Wow, so close to how it feels

  2. Cunning and manipulative little bugger. Great post!

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